do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
