Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
