I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
