I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
