Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
