We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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