question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
