Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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