Where is the hickey?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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