OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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