At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
