His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
