i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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