dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
