The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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