Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
