Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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