How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
