Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
