i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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