If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My dick has a subreddit
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
