So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
