Pappa wants mamma naked
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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