i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
