quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
