just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
