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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  How did that happen by accident?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.

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• (310): View more from California

  what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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• (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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• (760): View more from California

  i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now

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• (585): View more from New York

  yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.

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