Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
