its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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