I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
