just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
