I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
