420 ftw
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dicks are not precious.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
