I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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