We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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