I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
