What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
