Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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