Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
