Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
