question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
