I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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