Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
