My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
