this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize