The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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