I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
