I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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