I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
