? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize