I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
