why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
pop tarts are not kleenex
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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