So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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