i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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