Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
