You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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