Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
