nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
