Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
